If you want to learn how to stop caring what people think of you, start to believe in yourself more and learn how to love yourself. Remember, you can’t please everyone.
It isn’t possible to be what everybody wants you to be – because that would mean millions or billions of different things – and yes you guessed it, you can’t be them all. So be true to yourself and let your behaviour resonate with your own deepest beliefs so that you are really being you, and then, and only then will you realise that you don’t need to keep on caring what other people think of you.
If people don’t resonate with the real you, then don’t worry if they don’t agree with your outlook. Let them be them and you be you.
When you’re busy caring about what people think of you, you start trying to please everybody
If you’re always to trying to please other people it means you’re putting their needs above your own. And that has a knock on effect in all areas of your life. So take some time to think about how wonderful you are as a person (no, I don’t mean perfect, I mean wonderful with all your quirks, faults and imperfections).
Go through your life and recognise all the amazing things you’ve achieved – they don’t have to be material things – it may be the experiences you’ve had or the relationships you’ve shared. It may even be the disasters you’ve survived.
Only YOU can have walked your path in the same way that you’ve walked it. So accept that your imperfections are fine and your eccentricities, normalities or abnormalities are just how you are at this moment.
It’s natural to want to make someone happy and it’s natural not to want to upset people. But we must do it from a place of security in ourselves. Genuinely wanting to see people happy is cool – yet needing to please everyone stems from needing approval, self-protection, fear of rejection and negative emotions – and that can be damaging to your wellbeing and to your success.
So if you want to see people happy, check your motives: are they about the other person’s happiness or about YOU? Next time you find yourself agreeing or saying yes to something when inside you’re screaming no, check yourself. Just pluck up the courage to say, ‘Actually, I don’t think so . . .’ or, ‘I’m sorry, but I can’t’.
Politely and firmly. Stay true to you. And don’t worry about what people think of you or your opinions and lifestyle.
There are too many people to please all of them
You know that right? Yes well maybe – but knowing something intellectually isn’t the same as knowing knowing. You need to know it deep in your heart.
Perspective can change the way you think and show you how to stop caring what other people think of you, but first you have to get the whole perspective thing.
The internet’s a great way to give you more perspective. There are three billion people on the internet. If you start a social media group to suit your interests, you’ll only get a small percentage of the people. You won’t get all 3 billion. But you won’t worry about the ones that haven’t joined your group, will you?
The same is true in life, but because you don’t meet so many people you assume all the ones you meet need to like you. They don’t. It isn’t necessary for your happiness. Better to focus on a couple of special people.
When you’ve found your true self and you’re behaving in accordance with your deepest beliefs and someone mocks you, criticises you or tries to spread negative gossip about you, say to yourself, So what? So what if I don’t please that person? Keep polite and keep your honour. But don’t lose yourself to other people.
I know I can’t please everyone, but I still care
We all care, and you should care. We should care about every living being in our universe, which literally means everything, because our universe is one big system. We should care about all our companions in this world, from people to animals to plants, to sea life. Every single little life form.
But we shouldn’t sell our own health and happiness. We shouldn’t feel less than those people who would knock us and bully us. Care in a different way. Care, but not worry. Stop caring what people think about you because that’s not the same as caring about people.
Negative people tend to criticise because it gives them power and they want you to stay in the same box where they are. But once you’ve stepped out of the box you’ll find that you’ll start meeting people who resonate with you, and the ones who would have held you down will drift out of your life.
I don’t want to upset people
When you understand just how many different minds and attitudes exist, you’ll begin to understand how impossible and futile the task of trying to please them all is. Stop caring what others think of you and start caring what YOU think of you. Ironically, you’ll upset less people when you stop trying to please them all.
Make sure what you do comes from the real you. Don’t act out another character with each different person you’re with. Be the same consistent YOU that you really are.
Remember that needing to be liked will have the opposite effect and create a barrier between you and the people you call friends. Much better be true to yourself and then be nice to other people.
Being nice to people is the best way to be, but being nice just because you’re trying to please someone is false and therefore drives them away – and does the opposite of what it’s supposed to do.
Be nice to yourself first and then you can bring true friendship, love and joy to other people.
Trying to please everybody . . .
- . . . can cause people to disrespect you.
- . . . could make you say or do things that are actually unacceptable to you.
- . . . undermines true friendship.
- . . . creates tension.
Don’t . . .
- . . . do things you don’t want to do just to please other people.
- . . . say what you think they want you to say.
- . . . allow yourself to be trampled on, treated badly or disrespected.
Benefits of learning how to stop caring what people think of you.
When you stop trying to please everybody you’ll actually please more people because they know they’re getting the real thing.
Start learning how to stop caring what people think of you and you’ll start to feel more self secure. With more belief in yourself you’ll find more rewarding relationships coming into your life.
This is the tip of the iceberg. If you start really realising that you can’t please everybody and there’s no need for caring what people think of you . . . then things will spiral and you’ll see loads of positive change in your life.
Do you worry about what people think of you? Let us know in the comments below.