How to Love Yourself

Learn how to love yourself because this one concept can change the rest of your life a million times over. Loving yourself is fundamental to every aspect of your life and essential your personal success and happiness.

‘To love yourself is not an egoistic selfish kind of love – it’s an appreciation type of love.’

If you don’t love yourself 100%, take some time to learn about and apply positive thinking to your life. Use it as a tool to get yourself spectacular results. You can read a related post in Learn How to Love Your Body.

Be Careful of the Choices You Make

Today I went past a dog on a very short chain. His universe is two metres long. He was sitting on top of the roof of the kennel, observing his territory, as he does every day, all day. He isn’t happy but he’s become so conditioned that he doesn’t question it. He’s closed down and accepted that his life exists in a 2 metre space. Very Sad. 

People fail to notice their chain too; they accept the way they think about things as fact instead of wondering if there could be a different way. We get chained to our negative self-image and yet we hold the key to the padlock.

‘The dog can’t get off his chain unless his human helps him. A human on the other hand, can make his own choices . . . if he knows what to choose for.’

The words Break Free with a broken chain running between them on a golden background

Choose to Learn How to Love Yourself

We gradually develop a self image that’s full of criticism. We go through the day, each day thinking we’re not good enough. Because it happens so slowly, we don’t even notice it’s happening. 

It’s the boiling frog syndrome. (Even if the frog story isn’t technically accurate, it’s a great illustration.)

‘Put a frog in cool water and slowly bring it to the boil, and the frog won’t do anything . . . until he boils to death. But put a frog straight into hot water water and he’ll realise the danger and jump out.’

Anything can be changed, but the difficulty is being aware enough to know what needs changing and acknowledging the fact that your opinions may be based on a wrong hypothesis and may therefore need challenging.

So make sure you make the right choices.

What About The Origin of Your Low Self Esteem?

This could be something that’s grown over the years without a specific origin other than our cultural inclinations of self criticism. It could be something incidental or it could stem from a past trauma.

Ask yourself why you don’t feel positive about yourself – but don’t expect to unravel the answer. And don’t answer: Because I’m too weak/shy/etc … as that isn’t the source. Just ask the question to become aware that you are not giving yourself as much love as you should.

Some possible influencing factors

    • Growing up with siblings and somehow feeling always less valid than they were (even in a great family this can happen).
    • Being overlooked or too shy to stand up and be counted when you were young.
    • Being bullied at school or at work or in a relationship.
    • Being controlled by a dominant person in your life.
  • Any number of situations that resonated deeply with your subconscious in the past.

There are loads of scenarios and it’s most probable that you can’t answer the question, but don’t worry, just the act of considering it will raise your awareness.

The thing is, it’s the present that counts, not the past. So, if you realise that you’re allowing a past situation to negatively impact your present, then you’ll be able to make different choices in the present. Whatever the cause, the aim here isn’t really to do anything about the past event except to acknowledge it.

And to start to realise that you’re a wonderful, unique person. And to start to realise that you’ll want to learn how to love yourself.

Your Inner Speak

We all have different voices that advise us from within. The inner child and inner critic are two voices that we all share in common. We have many more too but when you feel inferior, your inner critic has got too strong so it’s put you out of balance. 

All your inner voices are there to protect you, so if your inner critic is always criticisingBook cover Embracing Ourselves, it’s no longer doing it job. By becoming aware of that you can get back the balance and start listening to other inner aspects to counteract the self criticism.

Reading Embracing Ourselves (and the rest of the series) about voice dialogue by Hal and Sidra Stone will give you a great way to start your journey to self confidence and self love as it shows you the way to recognise what inner speak you’re paying attention to.

‘Self worth is the single most important attribute for a happy and successful life.’

    • To value and appreciate yourself, don’t believe you have to be perfect.
    • You don’t need to be like anybody else and you don’t have to be better than anyone else. You just have to be YOU.
  • Accept your own qualities, your true feelings and your own unique identity.

What is Your True Purpose?

Your true purpose is what you enjoy doing and feel right doing, whether that be sewing, languages, cooking, keeping your home clean, parenting, gardening, painting or any other aspect that makes you feel fulfilled. It may be something really simple – or maybe you have great ambitions.

‘Don’t be scared to put yourself forward.

Don’t be shy to say you can do it!’

It’s so important to recognise that you’re special, unique and incredible. There isn’t one other person on this earth who’s the same as you are. Isn’t that just mind blowing?

Learn how to love yourself and see your happiness grow before your eyes. Learn how to adopt positive thinking into your life and see the ripple effects it has on everything.

Do you love yourself enough?

If you have any reservations about your body, read this article on learn how to love your body.

If you have any comments, please leave a message!

6 Replies to “How to Love Yourself”

  1. If an individual learns to love himself, he will be highly gratified and will find the right approaches to take the best care of himself. Self-love is pivotal for attempting new things in the daily regimen. Thanks to Soraya for sharing some tremendous ways on finding self-love. I would say that by forgiving yourself for the mistakes you have done in the past, giving yourself a break, learning how to say NO to others in the awkward situations, considering your accomplishments, challenging yourself, making a vision statement, and working with a life coach, you can learn to love yourself in the best possible way.

  2. This information helps a lot,very good advice
    looking forward for more topics
    (hope you understand what i meane,my english is not the best)

    1. Hello Michelle, Your English is fine! I’m so glad you enjoyed reading and found this helpful. That really makes me happy! Lots more topics on the way so please keep coming back! 🙂

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