How to Have the Relationship You Want

So have you ever asked yourself how to have the relationship you want? Well the answer depends on so many factors. But you can do it. You can have the relationship you want, whether that means meeting your dream partner or taking your existing relationship up a level into new realms.

How to have the relationship you want

This article is the first of three and deals with how to have the relationship you want by attracting your soulmate.

The next article is about knowing when to walk away, and the third and final in the series is about getting the best out of your current relationship.

Part One: How to Have the Relationship You Want by Attracting Your Soulmate


To attract love and have the relationship you want into your life, first spend time mulling over what you actually want from your future relationship.

How to have the relationship you want by attracting your soulmate

Answer with specific concepts, not with general ideas like, I want to be happy. Happiness is a choice. It doesn’t define or reflect the conditions of your life. Happiness grows faster in some conditions – it’s your job to define what those conditions are for your happiness to thrive.

So try to be specific when you imagine your future relationship.

Clarify what’s important to you

The big stuff. Never mind the little things; it’s the large chunks you need to get right in your head. Would you like a calm gentle person to share your dreams or a more fiery character? Is a great sense of humour important to you? Or meditation? What interests could he or she have?

Imagine what this relationship will bring to your life.

Once you’ve outlined the qualities you’d like to have in a relationship, spend some time thinking about your own characteristics and relationship profile: are you caring? Are you a bit too possessive? Or controlling? Do you give your love wholeheartedly, or are you scared to let your love shine because of past hurts?

Recognise that your past baggage will affect you – but don’t let it dominate your thoughts or put a negative slant on your new relationship. Recognition is the first step to positive change. Recognise and be aware. Notice.

By acknowledging these things you can steer yourself in a new direction – just by being conscious of it.

Buy yourself a notebook

Choose one that you really like and keep that lovely notebook for all your private thoughts, manifesting ideas, positive quotes and anything else that inspires you.

Write the qualities that are most important to you in your book. You can write a brainstorm bubble or a simple list, whatever you prefer, but make it attractive. Include all the things you can think of. For example:

My partner: he’s friendly, open, caring, empathetic, intelligent, likes deep conversation, enjoys exercise and travel. He has a great job and is passionate about what he does.

You: more secure in myself, loving and giving. Success in my work. Happy to share my life with my partner.

You should think carefully and write the details that are important to you without restricting your future partner too much. For example, it may be important to you that he has a great job, but does it matter what the job is? If you’ve always dreamt of marrying a policeman, by all means specify it, but otherwise, it’s best to leave the exact details alone. By specifying exactly what job your partner should do you’re limiting the results. So choose carefully.

use a sketchbook

Next, take out or buy yourself a sketchbook or similar, and draw a magic drawing of your unknown partner, without any facial characteristics, just a black silhouette.

Around the silhouette, draw representations of the life you want to manifest. So if you want to have lots of friends and you want to travel more, draw lots of people and aeroplane to represent travel. Fill the page with all that you want in your life.

How to have the relationship you want by attracting your soulmate

The final stage is to combine the whole package in your head and heart.

No struggle, no desperation, just a secure knowledge that someone is coming on your path.

And then let it be. Forget about it and relax. You’ll find that synchronicities come into your life to meet you. Be sure to seize the opportunities as they appear.

Tips on How to Meet Your Soulmate


If you desperately want to meet someone you’ll push it further away. So be calm and confident and set out to enjoy your life and make friends.

Be warm and open to the people you meet, and be aware of your body language, which is really important. Body language can give people more confidence in you, or completely stop them from interacting.

Don’t think of every person you meet as a possible partner – just enjoy meeting new faces and making new friends. You mustn’t put pressure on yourself to meet someone. Instead, take a moment to pause and be confident in yourself.

Treat this time as one big period of growth in self confidence, self awareness, social stimulation and positive energy. Be positive.

And when you do feel your heart strings pulled, go with your instincts and follow it through. Too many people are scared to take chances in their personal life. When love comes along, it doesn’t have a guarantee stamped across it. Trust your gut instinct.

How to meet your soulmate

Before you find your soulmate it’s essential that you love yourself completely so that you can bring your whole self to the relationship. If you don’t love yourself completely, you’ll be attracting the wrong type of partner instead of the one you really want.

It’s also important that you learn to love your body because your body is your vehicle which gives you the chance to live this life. 

Do the things that inspire you. Take up evening classes, go on holiday, do workshops or retreats or weekend get-togethers that you love – do everything to help you build that love and strength within yourself.

And just keep being. And keep living positively. And value yourself above all. And you will meet your soulmate.

Conclusion – How to Attract Your Soulmate and Have the Relationship You Want

  • Decide what you really want from a relationship. Define what’s important to you and write it down in your private notebook. Imagine it vividly in your mind, without needing to imagine the face of your future partner. Feel excited about your new imagined present.
  • Analyse yourself and be honest about your positive and negative habits in a relationship. Sow the seeds for change.
  • Imagine the whole lot together – the relationship you want and the new you, with your new awareness.
  • Draw a magic drawing of whatever fulfils your dream. (A country house? A yacht? An apartment in the city?) Whatever your dream, draw it. Draw a silhouette to represent your partner.
  • Look for activities to do that inspire you. Learn new things, socialise, do whatever it takes to make you feel good about yourself.
  • Pay attention to how you use your body language and be sure to make eye contact with people you meet. Be honest, be open and be friendly.
  • Socialise. You can meet people by joining activities or by online dating or by coincidence. It doesn’t matter; you just have to be true to yourself and put yourself out there so that you can meet people. Let the rest take care of itself.

Maybe it sounds simplistic to just prepare your mind and effectively sit back and wait, (at the same time building up your own self esteem) – but it works. And that’s what counts.

But you probably have to know that it works for it to work, just like manifesting anything else. You have to feel it in your gut.

Read part two of the series on how to have the relationship you want. And part three here.

If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below and I’ll get straight back to you!

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