How to Change My Life

I’ve asked myself the how to change my life question so many times in the past when I wasn’t sure how to get to where I wanted to be, and during the process I’ve learned many ways to create positive change.

Cartoon of man sitting on a branch while sawing it off

Create Positive Change


One of the biggest things that holds people back is FEAR. Positive thinking doesn’t mean not experiencing fear or negativity but it means recognising it when it happens.

Some of the most common fears are:

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of change
  • Fear of making the wrong decision
  • Fear of regret

Ask yourself, what fears are holding you back in life?

If you’re wondering how to change your life, recognise that you can only influence your outside world by changing your inner world.

‘Change your subconscious beliefs, your thoughts, your feelings, your emotions . . . and you change everything.’

Our thinking affects everything, and I mean absolutely everything around us. Your subconscious accepts without analysis so if it’s programmed to be scared of something, you’ll be afraid of that thing.

‘Re-program your subconscious and you’ll re-program your life.’

Don’t expect to jump from one belief to the opposite belief. Instead you should grow the change gradually, nurturing your new belief-structure as it increases in strength.

Using Your Mind to Change Your Life


  • 3D image of person giving a speechStep One is to realise that you really Want to Challenge your situation. Right from your Heart

If you’re scared of change and accustomed to identifying with what you don’t want as being an essential part of you, you may say, ‘Oh I wish I could, but I can’t because of x.’ Challenge your thinking.

  • Recognise that there’s nothing wrong with being scared of something – until that fear doesn’t serve you any more and you decide to overcome it. And then you can let it go.

So the first step also includes recognising that almost anything that involves personality or habits can be changed. 

Positive thinking means looking at a situation and finding a positive way forward from it. Apply positive thinking to your life now and think positively about the areas you’d like to change, and in what way you’d like to change them.

Step 2: Stop Wishing for Things to Happen


What is the difference between wishing and (proactive) wanting? If you wish for something, you’re wishing for something to happen to you, like out of the blue, in the magic zone, whoosh it lands on you and you suddenly have that gift.

Exactly, it isn’t real. When you actively want something, you actually like the idea of the outcome so much that you are prepared to take action and work towards it.

Step 3: Make the Decision


  • Decide what you want to change. What direction do you want your life to go in? Which path would you like to tread?

countryside with palm trees and a path with a fork in it.

When you’ve made the decision it’s time to start working on re-programming your subconscious by continually returning to your new thought-image.

Imagine doing the very thing that you want in your life. If it is a real panic situation then just take it really slowly. Don’t go imagining things that will make you panic, instead imagine the things around the change.

So, if imagining speaking in public terrifies you but you want to develop that skill, think instead about you coming off the stage and seeing a crowd of people clapping. Remove the image as far as necessary from the source of fear until you feel comfortable with it.

You’ll need to nurture that image until it feels ‘real’ and then you can move one step closer to the core of your fear with a new, supporting image.

Remember all the time that this is pleasant, fun and rewarding. You are simply imagining a new you, step by step.

If you’re looking to change your job but you’re scared of the insecurity, work on building your confidence on that topic. Keep pushing your comfort zones, imagining yourself not going in to the office every day but doing what you love instead. Focus. Use positive thinking.

Step 4: Change Your Inner Speak


You’ll need to change your inner speak. If you pay attention to your inner conversation you’ll find you’ve got a lot of limiting beliefs which no longer serve your interests if you want change in your life.

Start telling yourself positive things you can do instead. If your negative limiting belief is that it’s just being realistic to believe that there’s no way you’d be able to find another job, change that around to thinking about what you’d like to do if you had another job.

Keep the voice that limits you quiet.

You may like to read about our internal voices in the great book on voice dialogue called Embracing Our Selves by Hal and Sidra Stone.

Step 5: Keep Out of the Way


It’s really important not to stress and push and pull, and worry and create deadlines. Just know what you want and allow the universe to take care of the ‘how‘ question. In the meantime keep your strength and your resolve. Know it for real. Don’t become passive. Just keep on your path towards your goal.

Step 6: Be Ready for Surprises


Nothing just goes away puff into thin air. You have to be prepared for the long haul. Then it doesn’t actually take long! But in order to create changes you’ll get a few unexpected surprises along the way.

Dinosaur visible in wing mirror of car

  • It’s impossible to have change without unexpected events.

Step 7: Recognise and Seize the Opportunity


When the universe sends you an opportunity it’s important to recognise it and act on it. You don’t know what it will take to create change, so be open to all possibilities.

When the first opportunity to challenge your restricting fear comes along, seize the opportunity and act on it. It may come in the form of an unexpected job interview or you may simply find yourself enjoying meeting new people. Every little new thing that turns up in your life can lead to a greater change.

Step 8: Persevere . . . And Never Give Up


Remember not to give up! Keep strong. Keep your goal in mind. Don’t measure the time or set yourself deadlines.

don't give up

Conclusion: How to Change Your Life


  • Identify an aspect of your life that you want to change for the better.
  • Visualise the change from all different perspectives. Be sure to delve into every depth and keep on doing it. Imagine it with positive thinking, imagining all the things you like about your new life changes.
  • Change your inner speak to positive and constructive.
  • Don’t give up: persist.
  • Keep going until your subconscious believes the new set of rules.
  • Know.

When you’ve re-programmed your subconscious it is only a matter of time until you see the positive change in your life…

Remember, If You Want to Change Something:

  • It might not happen how you imagine.
  • It might not happen when you imagine.
  • It might not happen with whom you imagine.
  • It might not happen where you imagine.
  • But it will happen.

So please, don’t be impatient.

Have you tried changing your life through positive thinking?

For more detailed articles about how to manifest your dream life, read the series: Introduction to manifesting your dreams followed by the magical first step in manifesting your life, the power of forgiveness and manifest your life dream.

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